Going Back Home
by Cathy2015
Summary: After having her heart broken, she finally decided to go back home and stay forever!!!
1. Default Chapter

Card Captor Sakura Intro: Eriol  
  
Eriol.you told me that you loved me, and I believed in you; you told you need me, and I told you I need you too, but then suddenly you asked me to be your lover and I kept myself quiet, you patiently waited until it's already been decided. I gestured and I nodded twice, seeming that I was sure, but deep inside I was feeling a little insecure, and at a subsequent moment time, I've comprehended that my feelings were right, you were just playing with me, you toyed with my life, you made me believe that you loved me. You calmly turned around and stared back at me with your cold blue eyes, you told me once again that you like me and love me. Well.no more lie's, I will never believe in the things that you'll imply me again, because you made me distrust you. You made me feel absent-minded, you made me forget and take the fact that I'm still in-love with someone else.and not to you. You controlled my emotions, but the worst of all, you made me feel like I'm of no use to you, to anyone and to the world. You pushed me to the wrong path; you pushed me to feel like I really shouldn't be in this world. For all the years that we were still together, and for all those times that I was with you, I swear to god that I didn't feel love nor care, all I ever felt was the anguish that's killing me from inside my flesh like a blade and a fire that's slowly burning my soul into black ashes over a mountain of sand.considered to be the bitter dead end for me.  
  
Right at that moment, I broke up with you, even if it hurts me so, and puts me into death, I tried not to do it, but my heart cannot bear feeling that way, to break our relationship is what it was longing for, to wake up from the breakdown of my life is what it was longing for. When our false love has ended, I've finally found a relief, and tried settling things down for a moment. You know what? I'm still so regretful of the day I let Touya go, but what can I do? The faiths have decided that we weren't meant to be together, it would take a miracle for them to change the foretold future for everyone. I feel like I'm in a prison cell or something that has bars to keep us apart.  
  
When I slept last night, Touya was in my dreams, like always.even before the day that I met him, I heard him calling me, I saw a tree and I saw a shadow of a man, I slowly stood in front of the shadowed tree, he was there talking to the woman in his arms.no other than me. That woman was I; my reflection in the mirror and my soul, talking to him staring warmly at his lovely eyes, then he kissed her, as I looked at him and my reflection, I felt something warm and soothing in my lips as the feeling slowly indistinct, then going gone.until I wake up, realizing that It was all just a fantasy marked in my mind; a fantasy that's impossible.like a fairy tale, and like a movie playing without sound. Speaking of fairy tales, my head's like a library filled with books about it, too much that I dream about them every night, at my sleep, and my daydreams.  
  
Touya and I .some said we made a perfect pair, some even said we should never part. It's not hard to understand and love him; it's just hard to recognize his deeper sentiments, he's really a secretive person, and sometimes, because of him being so unrevealing, he makes me nervous, not that he's a bad person, let's just say that he's just so tight-lipped, but not all the time. I blame myself for that allot of times, I've been like that to him either, if only I hadn't been afraid to tell him the truth, our relationship might not have shriveled away. "What kind of a lover was I? What changed when I tried to love someone again? What have I become?" Those are the question I ask myself all the time. I used to think that I already know who I am, but I really never knew 'me' after all. When I first fell for someone, I began forgetting about myself, about who I am.about who I used to be and who I will be. I guess it's the most romantic relationship that I've ever had. But that was meant to be broken, and it happened just as planned by our faith. I had to go to London to study, and that place is very far away from my home and.him. Even if I didn't broke his heart before I left, he'll definitely find someone more deserving for him. It still hurts badly until now, but I hope that I'm still holding on somehow and will be moving on too.  
  
'Guess I've lost the time. What was so hard to find? True love? Maybe I've already found it and I just didn't listen to the angel whispering in my ear, so it all slipped away at the edge.  
  
Yesterday and Today, Night and Day, Before and now.nothing seems to have changed. I still feel like a wounded animal searching for something unexplainable, something that cannot be put into words but in actions-----and heartbeat. It's something that a painter can't paint and describe; it's more than just an abstract painting or an art. It's something that an artist can't sing, something that a doctor can't heal; something like a song that cannot be uttered to a melodious sound and voice; something that the youth can't understand; something that someone can never learn easily until it happens to them. It is truly distinctive and unseen but felt in once mighty soul. Peaceful, Joyful, Cheerful; anything involved to happiness it is, but in the end, it might turn out to be catastrophe, or something unexpected.  
  
Tomorrow, when we meet, I hope that he's doing all right; I hope that he's happy with his new lover, and I hope that he's still the same old him. I wish that he'd already forgotten about us and move on to welcome new things, meet new people and enjoy his life without me by his side.  
  
"Love is blind" I didn't believe in that phrase until it came running after me. Well.yes, I guess 'Love really is blind" untroubled indeed. 'Love is like a river' for it flows in our souls. 'Love is manipulative' for unexpected things can happen.just like 'magic' and incredulous stories. 'Love is inimitable' yet beclouding. "Love strikes with awe and existed before us' Love not only happens in an occasion nor in a special celebration, it happens everyday, it clouds 'almost' everyone and 'everything', even you and me.  
  
'Time is gold' so cherish it. Once you've already done something, there's no turning back, you cannot repeat what you've already done, you cannot undone everything nor anything, you cannot decide again, when it's already decided. Even if you have a time machine; that won't do at all, because it is what faith had decided for you and them.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Author's notes: This is just the beginning of the story, meaning.this is just an introduction!!! ^_^ so, it's totally short. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 


	2. Nothing

Card Captor Sakura Intro: Eriol  
  
Eriol.you told me that you loved me, and I believed in you; you told you need me, and I told you I need you too, but then suddenly you asked me to be your lover and I kept myself quiet, you patiently waited until it's already been decided. I gestured and I nodded twice, seeming that I was sure, but deep inside I was feeling a little insecure, and at a subsequent moment time, I've comprehended that my feelings were right, you were just playing with me, you toyed with my life, you made me believe that you loved me. You calmly turned around and stared back at me with your cold blue eyes, you told me once again that you like me and love me. Well.no more lie's, I will never believe in the things that you'll imply me again, because you made me distrust you. You made me feel absent-minded, you made me forget and take the fact that I'm still in-love with someone else.and not to you. You controlled my emotions, but the worst of all, you made me feel like I'm of no use to you, to anyone and to the world. You pushed me to the wrong path; you pushed me to feel like I really shouldn't be in this world. For all the years that we were still together, and for all those times that I was with you, I swear to god that I didn't feel love nor care, all I ever felt was the anguish that's killing me from inside my flesh like a blade and a fire that's slowly burning my soul into black ashes over a mountain of sand.considered to be the bitter dead end for me.  
  
Right at that moment, I broke up with you, even if it hurts me so, and puts me into death, I tried not to do it, but my heart cannot bear feeling that way, to break our relationship is what it was longing for, to wake up from the breakdown of my life is what it was longing for. When our false love has ended, I've finally found a relief, and tried settling things down for a moment. You know what? I'm still so regretful of the day I let Touya go, but what can I do? The faiths have decided that we weren't meant to be together, it would take a miracle for them to change the foretold future for everyone. I feel like I'm in a prison cell or something that has bars to keep us apart.  
  
When I slept last night, Touya was in my dreams, like always.even before the day that I met him, I heard him calling me, I saw a tree and I saw a shadow of a man, I slowly stood in front of the shadowed tree, he was there talking to the woman in his arms.no other than me. That woman was I; my reflection in the mirror and my soul, talking to him staring warmly at his lovely eyes, then he kissed her, as I looked at him and my reflection, I felt something warm and soothing in my lips as the feeling slowly indistinct, then going gone.until I wake up, realizing that It was all just a fantasy marked in my mind; a fantasy that's impossible.like a fairy tale, and like a movie playing without sound. Speaking of fairy tales, my head's like a library filled with books about it, too much that I dream about them every night, at my sleep, and my daydreams.  
  
Touya and I .some said we made a perfect pair, some even said we should never part. It's not hard to understand and love him; it's just hard to recognize his deeper sentiments, he's really a secretive person, and sometimes, because of him being so unrevealing, he makes me nervous, not that he's a bad person, let's just say that he's just so tight-lipped, but not all the time. I blame myself for that allot of times, I've been like that to him either, if only I hadn't been afraid to tell him the truth, our relationship might not have shriveled away. "What kind of a lover was I? What changed when I tried to love someone again? What have I become?" Those are the question I ask myself all the time. I used to think that I already know who I am, but I really never knew 'me' after all. When I first fell for someone, I began forgetting about myself, about who I am.about who I used to be and who I will be. I guess it's the most romantic relationship that I've ever had. But that was meant to be broken, and it happened just as planned by our faith. I had to go to London to study, and that place is very far away from my home and.him. Even if I didn't broke his heart before I left, he'll definitely find someone more deserving for him. It still hurts badly until now, but I hope that I'm still holding on somehow and will be moving on too.  
  
'Guess I've lost the time. What was so hard to find? True love? Maybe I've already found it and I just didn't listen to the angel whispering in my ear, so it all slipped away at the edge.  
  
Yesterday and Today, Night and Day, Before and now.nothing seems to have changed. I still feel like a wounded animal searching for something unexplainable, something that cannot be put into words but in actions-----and heartbeat. It's something that a painter can't paint and describe; it's more than just an abstract painting or an art. It's something that an artist can't sing, something that a doctor can't heal; something like a song that cannot be uttered to a melodious sound and voice; something that the youth can't understand; something that someone can never learn easily until it happens to them. It is truly distinctive and unseen but felt in once mighty soul. Peaceful, Joyful, Cheerful; anything involved to happiness it is, but in the end, it might turn out to be catastrophe, or something unexpected.  
  
Tomorrow, when we meet, I hope that he's doing all right; I hope that he's happy with his new lover, and I hope that he's still the same old him. I wish that he'd already forgotten about us and move on to welcome new things, meet new people and enjoy his life without me by his side.  
  
"Love is blind" I didn't believe in that phrase until it came running after me. Well.yes, I guess 'Love really is blind" untroubled indeed. 'Love is like a river' for it flows in our souls. 'Love is manipulative' for unexpected things can happen.just like 'magic' and incredulous stories. 'Love is inimitable' yet beclouding. "Love strikes with awe and existed before us' Love not only happens in an occasion nor in a special celebration, it happens everyday, it clouds 'almost' everyone and 'everything', even you and me.  
  
'Time is gold' so cherish it. Once you've already done something, there's no turning back, you cannot repeat what you've already done, you cannot undone everything nor anything, you cannot decide again, when it's already decided. Even if you have a time machine; that won't do at all, because it is what faith had decided for you and them.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Author's notes: This is just the beginning of the story, meaning.this is just an introduction!!! ^_^ so, it's totally short. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 


End file.
